Last night I wore a tie to work at the restaurant.
It caused quite the stir, let me tell you.
I won’t be coy … I decided that in the face of The New
Depression that I would kick it up a notch on the weekends and go a little
dressy. With little effort I can be devastating in a coat and tie, its
true. As Astaire was born in a tuxedo, so was I in a coat and tie.
Parenthetically, usually I eschew it though, mostly having
to do with the poor choice of comfortable and affordable shoes available to
properly complete the look. As a young man, I worked selling men’s furnishings.
My shoes were so awful and uncomfortable that my feet were veined and ruined at
nineteen. The fine leather Ferragamo shoes at the time were an astonishing
$140.00 a pair, way too expensive for a young man. Now that won’t buy you one shoe.
Since then I have only worked where a man can wear eminently
and unarguably and incontestably sensible tennis shoes at the job. It is the
minimum of free world civilization. And since then, the rest of the sensible world seems to agree.
Still, one likes a little leather around the foot now and
then …
I have also discovered over time that there are men who are as gassed about collecting shoes as women are. They'll have five or six different pairs of every type of shoe. I however have never been a shoe person. I'm trying though.
So since no one has had the good business sense to create
comfortable business shoes at an affordable price, I think I am going to have to give up and just
go have bespoke shoes made … something a man can stand and work in without
having all of his arches falling and toes breaking. I challenge thee!
However, back to ties:
Before I was twenty, I was in charge of the tie island in
the men’s department at a specialty retailer. Arrayed before me at such a
tender age was God’s own world of fashionable men’s neckwear. Scrolls, stripes,
regimental, dots. Cotton weaves and wool knits. Silks by Sulki, reps by Ralph
Lauren and foulards by … I don’t think we carried ties from anybody whose names started with an “f”. Not even the Italians.
The only Italian designer one spoke of then, or should at any other time for that matter,
was Armani.
I learned what made a good tie and what made an expensive cheap one. After all, money paid for something cut-rate in construction is very expensive indeed!
Armed with this knowledge and a Gatsby-esqe array before me, I slowly applied my
store discount to building an unrivalled collection of ties. Not huge, but
unrivalled; One that would be appropriate in any age of fashion. Since then I
have hardly bought an additional one. Who could afford it anyway?
And yes, they were mostly Armani, Julian, Ralph Lauren and
our store brand that was also of high quality. A little more spent then, even
at a discount, proved to be the canny investment of a lifetime.
One day the women in the department gathered around me and looked down. "What are we going to do about your shoes? You really are not a shoe person, are you?"
My only regret is that my grandfather let me go through his
ties. He shared a similar fetish and was also devastating in a coat and tie.
I
am also told my maternal grandfather had a thing for hats.
Anyway, Grandaddy
had saved ties from the first Depression that he used to pick up from the store
for a buck to cheer himself up on a bad day … they were all dark silk and
skinny-skinny-skinny. He had me go through the trove once to thin it out and I
wore them for awhile, along with some of his ancient white shirts with tab
collars that he still had, until one day he decided he wanted most of the ties
back. I chose two or three and regretfully returned the rest, and thank God I have
those now because the rest have gone with the wind.
So, now I have plenty of ties to choose from.
And two or three pairs of shoes.
